The difficulties that get overlooked when your autistic child is verbal

faithmummy


I am blessed with a daughter who has a large vocabulary and clear dictation. She can read fluently and make up complex sentences. She can remember accurate facts about things and repeat these readily. She can make choices, recall events and express her opinion.

As a result of all of the above it is assumed (wrongly) that her autism is mild, has limited impact on her life and something to be of little concern about.

People are too quick to assume if a child is verbal that everything is fine. 

Let me assure you that just because an autistic child can speak it does not mean their autism is mild.

Having speech does not mean a child necessarily understands what you are talking about.

Having speech does not mean there are no learning difficulties.

Being able to talk does not mean a child can effectively communicate.

Most of my autistic…

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Inertia

This is me through and through I saw all this before but never had words for it and always feel defeated often by it but maybe now I know it’s a thing it may help me stop fighting myself and getting upset with myself?!

autisticality

Inertia

inertia: a property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.

Autistic inertia is common but little-known and poorly understood. It lies somewhere on the borderline between catatonia and executive dysfunction.

Inertia doesn’t mean laziness, or not wanting to do things, or procrastinating – although it can look like all of those things. But sometimes it also looks like mania, obsessiveness, or even a burst of motivation. Because inertia just means difficulty changing state, and that original state can be anything. The simplest explanation for how inertia looks and feels: sometimes an autistic person ends up doing something they don’t want to be doing, or not doing something they do want to be doing.

Causes

There are a lot of different possible causes and contributing factors for inertia, and they can be different…

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Today is one of those days that happens once every few weeks or even months. I can breathe, I can feel and still breathe…..I can think things, feel things and still breathe….I can do things, and think and feel and breathe and wow it’s like lift off….I’m living and experiencing and loving it.

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That moment before I have to start keeping myself in check and be mindfull that this could be one of those usual times where I go overboard…the moment before having to be sensible…..it feels so lush, so amazing and all the previous pain and suffering and suffolcating and confusion in chaos in my mind and body all almost I can taste it just about becomes worth it….for seeing this…..My light!

This is the valuable  time I get that makes me me helps me see all I can be all I want to be and savours all that I live for like a well learnt rest, a snuggle in bed with my children or a yummy desert after a long hard course of eating only health foods….you know……I think I DO bottle it! It must be what keeps me going…just remembering this euphoria!?

I’m here, with my children…the younger ones….watching them and joining in with them genuinely enjoying sharing their joy as they play and reap the fun on tap at their favourite giant soft-play-bumper-cars-merrigoround-place-of-kids-dreams-come-true.

I love seeing them happy and I’m loving being able to feel it and bask in the delight, being a part of it I feel blessed to and I don’t have to pretend or force my smile or drag myself to do things as they request me to join them…..As I never want to let them down you know!…I always push myself to keep them seeing me happy…..

 

I know what it’s like to care so much when you live with a chronic illness that you learn how to look happy…How to look like you’re functioning…appear like you’re living. Its not for any social media platform though! THIS IS my real-life reality….. of video streaming…..all my actions and self like an outerbody experience being recorded in my mind and critiqued by myself as I go along to keep myself in check….I imagine what others would expect of me and there you have I can become the perfect idealised version of me..(BUT TODAY ITS REAL!!!)…usually with great effort though, especially when my fog is on and my body weighs me down like a lead balloon.

 

….though today.. TODAY :-D…….My heart is not heavy, I am floating…..and maybe that’s why after so many years I am once again possibly just maybe attempting . to . start . writing . ~HOPEFULLY~Do we have lift off?…..